Saturday, 26 April 2008

Dubai big shit hole update...

I have long fumed against Dubai and it's ilk, it's wrong in so many ways.

"Oh what should we do when the oil runs out , er spend all the money on grim upscale holidiay tat or on education and health for our people ,so they can produce their own welath... er no lets go with shit villas for shit footballers. "

"Er er er sheik if there's no oil how are people going to afford to fly to this sweaty sandy dump ?" .....

And Mr Dubai you haven't reclaimed land you've stolen habitats from the sea numbnuts.

I mean my 4 year Niece may think an Island in the shape of the world is cool but she is four and I bet she'd get bored with it pretty soon, I mean grow up

"look look Ryan Giggs lives in belgium and the Rod stewarts on Thailand " for fuck sake grow up.

I don't know who I dislike most the Dubai leaders who squander their countries weath on gaudy crap or fatuous "Ballet" teachers from Surrey who like playing at Donald Trump as long as some poor sod gets paid £30 a week to empty the bins in 50 degree heat. And no Donna Dempsey this isn't envy no money on earth could get me to sit in your fetid jacuzzi sipping badly made drinks whingeing about property prices and air fares you smug get (I bet your not 46 either!)

So in conclusion Dubai is a chidrens cartoon shaped gaudy shit hole run by short sighted un elected crooks populated by smug selfish self deluding foreign cretins and footballers all kept in gilded bordom by unknown unprotected exploited, overworked lonely quasi slaves.

Would you like us to send you a Brochure.....

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Is she really going out with him?

The Italian Election:
Italy, Italy we all know how marvellous it is in so many ways, the food, the art, the music, Venice, the way that they have convinced the world that their footballers are passionate, skilful genius’ the European Brazilians (when in fact they solid rather dull defenders), “a country of contradictions” which brings us to their election.

Italy is like you friend who keeps getting back off with that creepy older guy nobody likes. You meet her for the first time in a while and are about to say “thank Christ your not with Sil...” and old slimy tanned toad wanders back from the bar with 2 Campari and sodas. You want to take her aside and say “what do you see in him?”; when she’s on her own she spends her time defending him “he’s very generous”, and “his hairs grown back” and “he’s got a lovely tan” “you should see him when we are alone, he’s completely different.....”

I don’t know whether to be more concerned that we all put up with a crook, fraudster, authoritarian bigot (and probably much more but how would we know he owns the TV and newspapers) like Silvio Berlusconi running a major country or that a member of his party on the today programme came out with this with respect to their victory.

Paraphrasing here:
“It is good that Italy is reducing the numbers of parties she has” ( er, didn’t this happen before ooh say 70 years ago) we need strong central leadership ( er erm stop now you are scaring me) we need to radically improve governmental services ( er like making the trains run on time.....)

So Italy to stop all your friends sticking their fingers down their throats and pretending to gag behind your PM’s back, why not dump Silvio and go out with that nice socialist you used to date, I know he doesn’t own his own football team but he seemed ok, you could bring him round for dinner and we can talk about music and art and football and Venice.....

Sunday, 13 April 2008

Turning Rebellion into money

In the latest issue of The Word David Hepworth reiterates the usual free market line that the present form of late capitalism is inevitable and therefore desirable. We all “sell out” so we shouldn’t criticise the Rock and Pop musician who do the same. Now I am no wide eyed idealist but I am feed up with the tired triumphalism of the present status quo. It’s all over the place it says “we can buy off Dylan and Costello, but you know what we’ll also say we use to like the Smiths and even Billy Bragg”, and “ oh and if we mess up we’ll be bailed out by the government and still get £750,000 pay off”. You can hear it every time a phone company adopts your favourite tune to sell another need less phone plan or when your favourite artist or film maker’s work is used to sell processed cheese.

Hepworth isn’t entirely consistent in his position as recently on the his own blog/podcast he was decrying the corporate folderol of sport, fire works, flags, branded stages etc. Do the same rules not apply to hair gel ads on screens at gigs or Dylan ads for thongs? Maybe being an insider of the music industry has relieved him and others of any delusions of that milieu and yet they still like to dream of experiencing their sporting heroes in a purer less money orientated way.

There are lots are reasons why “Born to run”, “Ace of spades”, “Jumping jack flash”, sound compelling, one of them is the myth that the person who wrote it was an outsider. This myth is as important as the myth of the free market, ironically it’s the reason Tom Waits sells more copies of the Word than Dido. Myths and legends are important it’s not deluded to put some store in them, the world of the imagination is necessary to us all; it doesn’t mean we don’t live in the real world, it means we inhabit two.
Most of the things we cherish most in life aren’t valued for their sale price on E-bay. The un-edifying experience of capitalism rubbing our faces in it is just depressing. Finally does anyone really need birthday card of a junky from your granny and oh do you want Toblerone for a £1 with that madam……
Ps the cards were on sale in a branch of Smiths in the City of London

Monday, 7 April 2008

Let the people of Tibet decide their future!

Putting a torch to democracy!

The Tibet Torch protests yesterday were excellent they turned what was an offensive bland publicity stunt into a bizarre contact sport. The torch party resembling nothing more than the US Marines in the film “Black Hawk Down” rushing through Mogadishu under attack from unfriendly natives.
I had been at odds as to whether the Chinese should hold the Olympics as it legitimizes them, although I do think that in this moment when they have to take notice of the world’s opinion of them that it may be good thing.
The site of some Chinese stuff shirt making some glib speech to the sound of boos was very welcome. Although you can imagine he was thinking “why is Gordon Brown so weak, why don’t they just send in the troops and a clear the street of this rabble”.
As to the pro torch Chinese protestors maybe its good they come across some descent evrything isn't rosey in China and as we are learning in Britain self determination can make a once single union a more powerful, better, freer confederacy of friends.
Also I think on this occasion the distinction between celebrants and protestors that the Police made and used to inform their role was dodgy. Weren’t some the groups of celebrants encouraged on to the streets by the Chinese Embassy?
The Olympics won’t be called off but holdings them in a corrupt dictatorship (not that any dictator is a good thing), with high levels of poverty, pollution and randomly applied human rights won’t be it’s finest hour.
I am constantly amazed that countries like China and Russia that have been “civilised” for so long have yet to start treating their own people in a free, fair and decent manner.

Wednesday, 2 April 2008

Jonathon Toss

I wish to make a complaint!

Sometimes you can’t shout at the radio all day, so instead I wrote and complained about Jonathan Ross, basically because he’s tedious and unnecessary.
All the e-mails are reproduced as sent the last response from Andrew Milligan has some classic spelling mistakes in it as well.

I do worry that BBC haven’t understood the power relationships inherent in jokes about race. I was in no doubt that my complaint would produce no effect I was just hoping for a snowball effect.

I do get the feeling that JR has pocketed his cash and is now just phoning in his work, interviewing David Baddiel recently he was open about them being best mates they only reason seemingly for the interview. I also think Mark Kermode could easily do amore interesting, engaging and knowledgeable film show than Ross.

So here’s my Mr Angry routine:

Dear Sir,I writing to say can't the BBC give Jonathon Ross a rest? I've just turned on my radio and it was tuned into radio 2 in the first 5 mins of listening Ross had done the following objection things:
· Firstly he made an offensive racist comment; basically that Hardeep Singh Kohli only gets work because he is a Sikh and wears a turban.
· After playing a record about just taking the money (how apt) he tells a story involving anal surgery. Now I am no prude (I know prudes always say that but honestly I'm not) it's just that it's all so needless.

It all just comes over as arrogance, "look at me I can say anything and no one can do anything about it." There is a thin Line between cheeky chap and just offensive childish behaviour and Ross has crossed it.

I think his random puerility and casual bullying of guests particularly on his TV show is just tired. The fact that he was bragging about not even doing some shows live was just the nail in coffin and I turned the radio off. It is shame as in the past I have enjoyed his factual programmes on comics, Japan and films he's just got tedious and puerile. Please re-think how much air time he is give better still give us all a rest from him.

The BBC’s reply:

Dear Mr BLTP
Thank you for your email regarding Jonathan Ross. I understand you find Jonathan's style of presentation offensive and feel his comments can often overstep the mark. Nothing contained in our programmes is included with the intention of upsetting individual listeners and viewers and we apologise for any offence you were caused by Jonathan's comments.
The acceptability of a particular joke depends very much on its tone, style and intent, which can be difficult to assess and very much open to interpretation. Jonathan has established a reputation for his irreverent no holds barred style, which we feel is well recognised as being light-hearted and without malice.
We appreciate that some people may not like his style. Our difficulty is that we have to try to find a balance between allowing a presenter like Jonathan the freedom he needs to maintain his spontaneity and encouraging an awareness of where the boundaries of acceptable taste lie.I would like to assure you that we have registered your comments on our audience log. This is the internal report of audience feedback which we compile daily for all programme makers and commissioning executives within the BBC, and also their senior management. It ensures that your points, and all other comments we receive, are circulated and considered across the BBC.
Thanks again for taking the time to contact the BBC.

Ross Jubin
BBC Complaints

My second e-mail

Dear Ross,
Thanks for your speedy reply, thanks also for taking the time to read my comment many complaints services clearly issue stock letters. I am concerned however that you imply that racisms can be acceptable at certain level if it's done in "light-hearted" manner. The sort of casual racism inherent in Ross's joke about Hardeep Singh Kohli is exactly the sort that needs to be got rid of.
Also I believe the intention is irrelevant in racist abuse cases, more the effect on the person/group it's directed at. I would also state I'm not in the habit of finding offence on other people's behalf, far too much of that goes on these days but that this remark was offensive and inappropriate and was an example of a performer who believes he can say what he likes and not receive an reprimand. ThanksBLTP

The Beeb’s latest reply:

Dear Mr BLTP
Thank you for your further e-mail regarding 'Jonathan Ross' on BBC Radio Two.
I understand you are still concerned about some of Jonathan's humour and are worried we might e condoning racism provided it is light hearted. As we explained preciously, it is never the intention of the BBC to deliberately upset its audience. It is a recognised and traditional part of British humour to make jokes about foreigners and people within the British Isles. For example, the English are lampooned as "stuck up" and superior in their attitude to other races. You can argue that telling jokes about any race is wrong but usually such jokes are affectionate and free from malice. We do not wish to compile a list of banned subjects but do try to ensure that jokes on certain subjects are not overdone, and also that they are genuinely funny.
We can appreciate that some jokes, on any subject, will not be appreciated by all of our audience and in order to continue monitoring feedback we have registered your comments on our audience log.
This is the internal report of audience feedback which we compile daily for all programme makers and commissioning executives within the BBC, and also their senior management. It ensures that your points, and all other comments we receive, are circulated and considered across the BBC.I hope this goes some way to allaying your concerns and thanks once again for contacting the BBC.
Andrew Milligan
BBC Complaints

Sun Headlines?

Making a point!

On the train this morning I saw the Sun headline, now I know they go for impact etc but they do have particular style. It said “kids find women’s head in plastic bag on beach”. It’s shocking and terrible story in all aspects but aren’t those words eye catching enough without them being 50 point white on the black and here’s the thing underlined. Also why the plastic bag bit? Parts of some poor soul are strange enough to find on the beach, the fact they are in bag doesn’t make it anymore shocking.